Being Comfortable with Discomfort: Ageing, Illness, and Mindfulness

Discomfort is not something many seek out. Sometimes it's the dull ache of a changing body, the invisible ripple of uncertainty after a diagnosis, or the grief accumulating as time passes. For some, discomfort arrives quietly. For others, it takes up the whole room.

What Mindfulness Offers in Difficult Times

Mindfulness isn't about abolishing discomfort—it's an invitation to be with what is, however messy or hard. When illness, pain, or aging shape daily life, mindfulness can support being present: noticing, feeling, and naming what is real, without needing to fix, judge, or retreat.

Letting Go of "Shoulds"

As aging or illness unfolds, expectations from the past ("I should be able to do this," "life should feel different") can cloud the present. Mindfulness is about learning to become less invested in "shoulds." Sometimes it invites me to witness sorrow and softness; at other times, to welcome resilience and rest—not as exceptions, but as ordinary moments.

Living with Change

In practice, mindfulness sometimes invites a pause—a nurturing, perhaps neutral, possibly loving relationship with the ways of my body. Listening for what the body knows, even when frailty or pain surfaces, can become a quiet act of attention. In some moments, discomfort may shift a little; it might even become a companion—something noticed, and perhaps, at times, a source of curiosity. It can even allow a new kind of curiosity about another's difficulty.

Wholeness in Every Stage

There is no right way to age or heal. Each person gets to decide what matters most. For myself, I find value in cultivating, as best I can, self-compassion and noticing small wisdom in unexpected places. When I work with others, we may find new words for old burdens, or explore gentle pathways for engaging with discomfort—without agenda or assumption.

Discomfort happens, and it's rarely easy. To practice accompanying myself in discomfort—whether through mindfulness, conversation, or psychotherapy—and in turn to become more present to the discomfort of others, has both softened life's edges and expanded what joy feels like.

If you have questions, want space to reflect, or wish to explore support, my door is open. There is no obligation and no rush—begin whenever feels right for you.

If you are experiencing acute distress, including severe grief, spiritual crisis, meditation-related challenges, or confusion at end of life, please reach out for gentle support when you feel ready. For urgent needs—including risk of harm—call 911 or visit your local Emergency Department.